Right? There were so many highlights! Amy and Tina making all the jokes, everybody throwing shade at Anne Hathaway and Taylor Swift, the nominees from Dog President, Jodie Foster coming out (kinda), Clooney canoodeling and, of course, drunk Glenn Close (my favourite). My only criticism is the same as everyone else- not enough Tina and Amy. I also wish Bradley Cooper could have given his acceptance speech just for fun, because he is nice to look at and he was really really wonderful in Silver Linings Playbook. Just not Jackman wonderful. Is it unfair to lump musicals in with comedies? Totally.
As usual, I watched all the arrivals, ready to harshly judge hot messes but….there wasn’t a lot of them. But just because someone looks not completely terrible doesn’t mean I can’t make fun of them:
I fervently believe that A list celebrities dress/look insane on purpose to either get publicity or as inside jokes to their friends. Like, they wager their Golden Globe look in Poker or playing Truth or Dare. It’s the only explanation.
Lana Del Ray looks like a little girl who put on her Mom’s power suit. Why is it so huge? I love white suits too. Maybe it’s the angle?
Maaaaan. That’s all I want to say about that.
There was a lot of this parachute satin/bad cut strapless gown thing going on. Girl needs to try something NEW. (See what I did there?)
When I first saw Lea Michelle I was disappointed for a minute that she didn’t look totally terrible, as usual. But then I looked closer and…orange! Thank you Lea Michelle for always posing HARD and getting it wrong. Every time.
OK now on to my favourites.
Again with the parachute satin but I love the colour, especially with her bright lip and perfect starlet hair. Any time someone looks like Peaches n’ Cream Barbie, I am going to be down.
My favourite alien (next to Tilda Swinton) looked great. I want to get married in this dress. Stunning.
I guess this is a boring dress and the sheer polka dots thing is way done, but I still think Rachel Weisz looks incredible. Tan skin, glossy hair, perfect makeup = STAR. I mean:
This is what I want to see when I look at Hollywood. Beyond.
Minus the matchy belt and with hair up and this would have been my dream dress/look.
So where were the rest of my favourite stars? No Diane Kruger or Cameron Diaz or Gwyneth? Not fair. Next year.
All images Getty